It's been nearly three years since I started Bipolar Courage, when I was expressing setbacks writing my semiautobiographical novel, Pet Purpose: Your Unspoken Voice. I was in a depressive episode when I started this blog, as a distraction and a tangent. My first blog post was about how I get through depression.
My brain naturally goes off on lots of tangents. My psychologist said that creative brains do. It's also exaggerated by my diagnoses of bipolar disorder (type 1 which has full mania) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
'Loose associations' is an indicator that one is in a mood episode. It can become distressing in extreme levels, as my brain is linking loads of things from decades ago to recently, very fast. This is very taxing on the brain and can be anxiety-inducing if the links go back to trauma, overwhelming me with trauma triggers (all the links are actually potential triggers).
However, if this can be managed, the going off on tangents, going with how my brain naturally works, can be therapeutic. I can turn the triggers into part of my storytelling instead (I currently write about romantic and sexual relationships with bipolar and PTSD in storytelling form (memoir, novels).
I am no longer blogging or vlogging as a mental health and disability advocate. The politics of it is too toxic for me.