In just over an hour, it will be 2022 in New Zealand. I have been jotting down some notes and preparing some photos over the past 4 hours with the aim to write a final blog post for the year (all improvised really).
I will upload a few pics I took today and write some text around them. It is very challenging for me to organise words into sentences, paragraphs etc. I have impairments with bipolar 1 disorder and post-traumatic disorder (PTSD), which affect my cognition and communication.
communication impairment PTSD Bipolar
I spent most of my spare time today editing the captions for this video (after I finally figured out how to do it). I copied a transcript below. It shows that my communication has impairment. I was dissociating somewhat when recording the video, which affected my cognition, processing and verbal communication. It can be much worse.
People have confused my disabilities with autism. Trolls on social media targeted me mainly because I accept my diagnoses from my clinicians (bipolar 1 disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder) and mild social anxiety disorder and no longer call myself autistic. I am mostly affected by PTSD in this particular video.
It takes me a long time to write and edit to try to be clear, so abusive trolls who accused me of being ableist were being ableist themselves.
Update: my psychologist said I was in a mixed episode in this video, with loose associations and difficulty with my cognition and speech (some slurring).
[Update: I still won't call myself 'autistic', after a psychiatrist has since formally diagnosed me with pervasive developmental disorder - not otherwise specified, PDD-NOS, with clinically significant autism spectrum features since childhood (including mutism). PDD-NOS is still a current diagnosis in New Zealand.]
I am no longer blogging or vlogging as a mental health and disability advocate. The politics of it is too toxic for me.