Art as therapy demonstration

I finally got around to editing some videos where I improvised painting Flossie Fluff in October 2020. To make one video with some of the main points. I paint when I feel the need to and paint abstracts when I feel like I need to shift something (often start off feeling shutdown, down, burdened) and during the process, with the music, go temporarily elevated. 

My current main diagnoses are bipolar disorder (type 1) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Movement to music helps me to process and move on when triggered (I tend to freeze and shutdown and dissociate when triggered). Music also eases the pain and helps me to let go of the painful emotions, plus claim back the good memories.

Flossie Fluff by Xanthe Wyse

In the video below (fully improvised), I dance-painted (dancing is a great way to discharge the energy). I didn't know how she would turn out and I didn't name her until partway through the process. She is a metaphorical self-portrait of a child who became sad but she has learned to find her fun again. I noticed when editing that I subconsciously changed the lyrics to 'Innocent Eyes' (Delta Goodrem) 'little girl inside' to 'little girl who died' (that's how I felt after trauma - I actually legally changed my name).

I need lots of rest and recovery time after doing a painting as it is like running a marathon. I don't paint every day - just went I need to. Any form of creative expression is therapeutic, even a simple doodle or waving my hands to the music when walking (I call it dance walking). The key is to improvise. Doesn't matter if it turns out messy.

Creative expression as therapy (usually listening to music on repeat that fit my mood) went deeper and was more effective than me than talk therapy. I have been in talk therapy for over 3 years and while it has been great to have someone non-judgemental listen to me, it's actually my own creative expression that has been most therapeutic.

Flossie Fluff flew to the USA to an online friend who really connected with her. The only painting I have shipped (shipping is expensive from New Zealand).