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I have been through a stressful process of being assessed for impairment for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) for the purposes of lump sum payment as compensation. For what is called sensitive claims (includes sexual abuse trauma etc) with ACC in New Zealand. This can only be done after having therapy to treat the PTSD as much as possible. A lot of people pull out of the process.  Nuclear. Doodle in felt pen on paper, processing anger when triggered.
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I am diagnosed with the shutdown presentation of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), bipolar 1 disorder and mild social anxiety disorder, which multiple strangers online confuse with autism. I have had a lot of abuse online because I no longer call myself autistic, after assessment for Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). I have difficulty with communicating with words. Below is an extract of transcript from a recent video, when I was trying to speak, while dissociating (PTSD):  I spent most of my spare time today editing the captions for this video (after I finally figured out how to do it). I copied a transcript below. It shows that my communication has impairment. I was dissociating somewhat when recording the video, which affected my cognition, processing and verbal communication. It can be much worse. People have confused my disabilities with autism. Trolls on social media targeted me mainly because I accept my diagnoses from my clinicians (bipolar 1 disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder) and mild social anxiety disorder and no longer call myself autistic. I am mostly affected by PTSD in this particular video. It takes me a long time to write and edit to try to be clear, so abusive trolls who accused me of being ableist were being ableist themselves. Update: my psychologist said I was in a mixed episode in this video, with loose associations and difficulty with my cognition and speech (some slurring).
I recently published a memoir, Bipolar Cringe, about the hypersexuality at the end of a marriage (open in final year). Written, at the time, before I was diagnosed bipolar 1 disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I published it minimally edited so that it was still raw.
For the past few years, I have been subjected to targeted harassment because I no longer identify as autistic. When I wrote the memoir, I identified as Aspie/Aspergers and autistic. Social justice warriors on Twitter took offence over their identify politics and targeted my book with malicious reviews. This was part of a massive mob cyberbullying attack by strangers. The following screenshots are only a small sample of the abuse. This was one of the many insults, when I supported an autistic woman with different political views to the mob: 
 I have been the target of a very aggressive cyberbullying campaign that has gone on for over two years, escalating recently when I called out some of the behaviour. It is over identity politics. These are only a few screenshots of accounts on Twitter who lied about me and harrassed me and called me the abuser, when they were abusing.
When my account was locked, I admitted to my followers that I had severe suicidal ideation. I have experienced this many times. I am diagnosed bioplar 1 disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety disorder - all activated with the recent cyberbulling campaign. My admission of suicidal ideation was leaked and mocked by accounts I had blocked who were lying and gossiping about me. What it boiled down to, is that accounts claiming to be autistic were mad at me because I no longer call myself autistic. I am diagnosed with rapid cycling bipolar 1 disorder (which has mania, hypomania, mixed features, depression and mood crashes) with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I have been in treatment for PTSD for 2 years. I self-advocate as a vulnerable person and survivor and also for the vulnerable. I have trust issues after betrayal from friends and my ex-husband. I have recently found out what some of the lies are against me in a pile of abuse.
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Xanthe WyseXanthe finds creative expression including writing and painting to be therapeutic and helps her to manage her diagnoses of bipolar disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Archives
January 2023
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