The lyrics 'I get knocked down but I get up again' from the song Tubthumbing by Chumbawamba came to mind after I watched back a video I recorded in 2017 when I was struggling. At that time, my psychiatrist said, 'I'm doing my best to keep you alive right now'.
It was rough. Rapid cycling from mania then crashing into depression. I was unable to drive, unable to prepare a basic meal, unable to work at all. Now I can drive when I am up to it on quieter roads, can work around 8 hours per week, can usually prepare basic meals.
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This post is a collaboration with an advocate in the UK who goes by Shell Spectrum. Shell has a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome (same as my son's childhood diagnosis) and has been advocating online about autism as an autistic woman for over 20 years. She started a list with this title and I have modified it slightly and extended it with her permission. Shell and I are the 'bad autistics' neurodiversity 'autistics' warned you about. Although I would rather see myself as a 'number 1 badass' (after all 'BAD1' was written in my medical records for 'bipolar affective disorder type 1).
I am on the autism spectrum myself, with a diagnosis of pervasive developmental disorder, not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS) but I choose to no longer call myself autistic, nor an autist. (Although neurodiversity advocates insist on calling me both). I had more prominent autism spectrum features in childhood (as did my son) than as an adult. Shell and I am both critical of the neurodiversity movement, an identity politics ideology, that has ripped off medical conditions and watered them down into common traits. Then evangelised, recruited and indoctrinated people who have no clinically significant impairments since childhood. Many have profitted from this racket. Anyone who criticises this cult will be abused by extremists. |
Xanthe WyseI am no longer blogging or vlogging as a mental health and disability advocate. The politics of it is too toxic for me. Archives
May 2023
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