I have self-published two books as e-book and print-on-demand formats, distributed by Amazon. One was a memoir under a pen name. The more recent one, my debut novel, was under my legal name. I didn't promote the memoir. Only a handful of people read it, whom I told it existed. It never was found under millions of books on Amazon. Let's face it, if no one knows about it, no one's going to buy it, are they? I 'unpublished it' and thought I had deleted the files, then recently recovered it. I am going to edit it, rename it Bipolar Cringe and republish it under my name with more context. ​

Well, since my last blog post, I saw my novel Pet Purpose: Your Unspoken Voice hit #1 in top free best sellers in Biographical Fiction on Amazon US. If I had been paid for those downloads, I would have made more in royalties in a few days than well over a month of my part-time minimum wage job. I did some calculations, and if I were to sell at the rate of what was downloaded with the promotion, I would make nearly six figures annual in NZ dollars in royalties. Whereas, I made a few hundred bucks from actual sales, prior to the giveaway, which I invested into testing out marketing and promotion options. Potential is there.

It was a ridiculous goal to be an internationally bestselling author when I was struggling so much with bipolar 1 disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder, that I was unable to cook a scrambled egg with a scrambled brain, or remember how to take my meds on my own. It took 7 years to complete Pet Purpose. I wrote and edited it in short bursts every few months.

I recently self-published my debut novel, Pet Purpose: Your Unspoken Voice, about a character with bipolar disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) navigating love and loss. I am currently running a free promotion of the e-book on Amazon. Today, it is currently #2 in biographical fiction and #19-20 in romantic erotica categories, listed in both in Top 100 Free Best Sellers. If it ever made it to #1, I didn't check, as rankings are updated every hour.

I have had a diabolical week with massive mood crash, the most distressed I have been since 2017. Quit a job. In the process of moving after my parents disapproved of me publishing my book. Attacked by trolls. The first reviews are starting to come in for my debut novel, Pet Purpose: Your Unspoken Voice. Available as an e-book and print-on-demand (which was better quality than I expected). 

Created in New Zealand. Printed in the USA. I was in a mood crash with bipolar 1 disorder with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and had just quit one of my jobs as too overwhelmed. I opened the parcel on camera (while a mess). This is what I saw: Snowball peeking out of the box!

I finally published Pet Purpose: Your Unspoken Voice. Sold a dozen copies online via Amazon from social media interest. Not a huge number, but got to start somewhere, right? Pet Purpose is a pet-themed semi-autobiographical novel with a character who is navigating love and loss with bipolar disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). So a character who shares my diagnoses.

I screenshot some initial reactions/responses from 3 readers giving feedback from Twitter. Even though they tweeted publicly, I cropped out their details:

​Below is what I had written on the 'about' section of my website which I am updating. It has a tiny bit of my story and why I do what I do - making my own meaning and purpose keeps me going. 
​Bipolar Courage is a blog of insights and art by Xanthe Wyse from New Zealand. Xanthe has been diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and social anxiety disorder. Xanthe started Bipolar Courage when she was feeling down and feeling like she needed a new sense of purpose to keep her going. Having a meaningful project is one of the ways that Xanthe keeps going despite at times overwhelming challenges and struggle.
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