 Content warning: This blogpost has content that may be triggering.
Update: I have been doxxed and swatted this past week. Doxxing is releasing personal identifying information with malicious intent. Swatting is is criminal harrassment intimidation tactic of sending police to someone's home. I've committed no crimes and the constable even apologised that he had to make the call. I've been sitting on a cesspool of screenshots from mob cyberbullying I experienced by neurodiversity ideology extremists. in August and September 2021. It was the worst some said they had ever seen. Turned out I had way over 2,000 abusive screenshots from this time, which I have narrowed down to approximately 100. It was triggering to go through them. I decided, as I turn my back on advocacy (including mental health, autism spectrum, disability), that I will upload some of the screenshots here. I don't want to include this triggering content into the memoir I am working on. I risk fallout sharing this. Any drama that might happen as a result, I am not engaging with, going forward.
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I wasn't going to post further on this blog, as I am moving to my other blog on Soar Purpose and I am leaving years of (mostly mental health and disability) advocacy behind, to move forward.
Something huge has been announced, all over the news in New Zealand and Australia past few days. Policy has been changed at government level with negotiation between the two neighbouring countries. Kicked off by the vision and actions of a vulnerable person 10 years ago. Which snowballed to bring about change to help thousands of others. I want to explain in this post the beginnings of how this happened, which has been swept under the carpet. I learned this evening that there is a direct pathway for New Zealand citizens and permanent residents to become Australian citizens, with less restrictive eligibility requirements. For a reasonable fee, starting July 2023. The fee at time of writing this blog was less that Australian $500 with no complicated and very expensive (thousands of dollars) permanent resident stage first (that many had not pathway to start). There are still elibility criteria but they are much more relaxed than previously. This post is a collaboration with an advocate in the UK who goes by Shell Spectrum. Shell has a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome (same as my son's childhood diagnosis) and has been advocating online about autism as an autistic woman for over 20 years. She started a list with this title and I have modified it slightly and extended it with her permission. Shell and I are the 'bad autistics' neurodiversity 'autistics' warned you about. Although I would rather see myself as a 'number 1 badass' (after all 'BAD1' was written in my medical records for 'bipolar affective disorder type 1).
I am on the autism spectrum myself, with a diagnosis of pervasive developmental disorder, not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS) but I choose to no longer call myself autistic, nor an autist. (Although neurodiversity advocates insist on calling me both). I had more prominent autism spectrum features in childhood (as did my son) than as an adult. Shell and I am both critical of the neurodiversity movement, an identity politics ideology, that has ripped off medical conditions and watered them down into common traits. Then evangelised, recruited and indoctrinated people who have no clinically significant impairments since childhood. Many have profitted from this racket. Anyone who criticises this cult will be abused by extremists.  Ataahua, acrylics on canvas by Xanthe Wyse In just over an hour, it will be 2022 in New Zealand. I have been jotting down some notes and preparing some photos over the past 4 hours with the aim to write a final blog post for the year (all improvised really).
I will upload a few pics I took today and write some text around them. It is very challenging for me to organise words into sentences, paragraphs etc. I have impairments with bipolar 1 disorder and post-traumatic disorder (PTSD), which affect my cognition and communication. Below is a painting I did a few years ago, processing in an elevated/mixed mood episode with bipolar disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Hot Air: Rise Above It. I wrote a story to go with it, intended as children's stories but it is also for adults. I might develop it further if I want something to do (already have lots of creative projects). I have published exactly how I wrote it in a single session including notes and mistakes below (with no alterations). This is the first draft that hasn't been composted yet. The story came to me after doing the painting.  Several times in my life, I have been told that I am 'too honest'. Lying makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. Over the past few years, I have been working on an semi-autobiographical fiction book called Pet Purpose. I see it as semi-autobiographical because it is telling my story in disguise. Originally, when I chose the title around five years ago, I intended to write memoir about my bond with pets. But more of life happened and the story has evolved into a story of courage as a young girl suffers trauma and loss, is later diagnosed with bipolar disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and with her determination to survive, finally starts a healing journey many years later in adulthood. The story loosely reflects my own journey, but I have changed the story-line to protect myself and others, even those who have hurt me. Changing names wasn't enough. I made the decision to write fiction, to 'lie to tell the truth', to help ease flashbacks of PTSD. So that I didn't have to remember it 'exactly' and keep re-traumatising myself. So that I minimise upsetting people. So people can't say 'that's not really what happened' (because they won't know what really happened) and minimise my message. So that I could have some distance while I still tell a personal story. So that I could express my truth in a creative way.  Snowball by Xanthe Wyse I had a big bipolar mania episode two years ago. I'm still recovering. I told my psychiatrist that the medications were like putting a bucket under the Huka Falls. The Huka Falls is a powerful waterfall in Taupo, New Zealand that could fill an Olympic sized swimming pool in sections. You can hear the roar before you see it. The intensity and energy of emotions being released that had been shut down with PTSD was so powerful that it was a huge challenge to try to harness.  Whitewater Roar. Acrylics on canvas by Xanthe Wyse. I'm not a detailed planner. Life doesn't work out to plan for me anyway. I prefer to improvise. When I create art, I might have some vague ideas in my head and even do a quick miniature sketch but it always turns out differently to how I originally started. I like the freedom to improvise. To make things up as I go along. Creative expression helps me re-frame my life experiences.  Summer Romance by Xanthe Wyse "I think adults who paint are brave. They need support to shine." Sue Graham, artist. Art was one of my favourite activities as a child. I have memories from kindergarten slapping on thick layers of brightly coloured paint at a stand up easel. I won a poster competition when I was around 10 years old. It was judged by a well-known landscape artist whom I met. She told me my poster stood out because of the colours and composition. When I was a teenager, my art teacher at school said, 'you always paint differently according to what mood you're in.' I felt criticised but thought, 'isn't that the point?' The same teacher said, 'you're going to have a nervous breakdown one day.' She said it was because I was busy doing so many activities with no down time to rest.  Healing Tears by Xanthe Wyse It's usually hard for me to get up in the mornings. But today I had something to do. Yesterday I decided to purchase a domain name and I started setting up this website. Today I wanted to continue to get it up and running. Having some sense of meaningful purpose helps keep me going even though things are very challenging for me (unable yet to work full-time and live independently after two decades of being away from home). I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder, PTSD and social anxiety in my forties. Previously I was diagnosed with 'treatment resistant' depression and anxiety in my early twenties.  Sensitive Soul by Xanthe Wyse |
Xanthe WyseI am no longer blogging or vlogging as a mental health and disability advocate. The politics of it is too toxic for me. Archives
May 2023
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