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My enemies made me stronger

29/5/2023

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The lyrics 'I get knocked down but I get up again' from the song Tubthumbing by Chumbawamba came to mind after I watched back a video I recorded in 2017 when I was struggling. At that time, my psychiatrist said, 'I'm doing my best to keep you alive right now'.

It was rough. Rapid cycling from mania then crashing into depression. I was unable to drive, unable to prepare a basic meal, unable to work at all. Now I can drive when I am up to it on quieter roads, can work around 8 hours per week, can usually prepare basic meals.

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Renegade Fighter by Xanthe Wyse, inspired by the song of the same name by Zed

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Mob Cyberbullying over Toxic identity politics

3/5/2023

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Content warning: This blogpost has content that may be triggering.

Update: I have been doxxed and swatted this past week. Doxxing is releasing personal identifying information with malicious intent. Swatting is is criminal harrassment intimidation tactic of sending police to someone's home. I've committed no crimes and the constable even apologised that he had to make the call.

I've been sitting on a cesspool of screenshots from mob cyberbullying I experienced by neurodiversity ideology extremists. in August and September 2021. It was the worst some said they had ever seen. Turned out I had way over 2,000 abusive screenshots from this time, which I have narrowed down to approximately 100. It was triggering to go through them.

I decided, as I turn my back on advocacy (including mental health, autism spectrum, disability), that I will upload some of the screenshots here. I don't want to include this triggering content into the memoir I am working on. I risk fallout sharing this. Any drama that might happen as a result, I am not engaging with, going forward. 
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THE COST of PTSD - Mental injury

28/3/2023

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Part of me hesitates to write this, as at times I have felt like a 'burden' as a person with permanent disability. Accident Compensation Corporation, ACC, provided me with a breakdown of the costs so far for my mental injury (I requested this information). The figures are in New Zealand dollars, inclusive of GST, and are for the last four and a half years. Nearly NZ$20,000 so far, mostly spent on therapy from a clinical psychologist (still ongoing).

The costs below also include reports from three separate psychiatrists for the purposes of lump sum compensation.
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Moody Storm painting - bipolar mixed mania

26/3/2023

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Moody Storm by Xanthe Wyse

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ACC impairment Assessment  - mental injury - PtSD

21/3/2023

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I have been writing some blog posts about my experiences and what I have learnt from going through the whole process from being assessed and treated for my mental injury of post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD right through the review and court appeal hearing process for compensation. 

In this blog post, I want to focus on the assessment itself. The process is biased right form the start, as Accident Compensation Corporation, ACC, chose the assessor and they spend millions each year on doctors and lawyers to avoid paying out claimants for more complex and potentially expensive injuries.
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ACC compensation process - Mental Injury

14/3/2023

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(Update: I didn't notice I kept saying the word 'process' until I read this out on my vlog. Repeating myself is one of the ways my disabilities affect me. I will leave this minimally edited as it takes a lot of time and energy for me to do tasks).

I have been through the Accident Compensation Corporation (ACC) process all the way to a District Court hearing. My case involved conflicting impairment assessments by psychiatrists for my mental injury of post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD (sensitive claims). I am writing some blog posts to process while I am in the process of archiving the files from a 2 year battle with ACC. Before, I go for round two. To be reassessed, yet again, even though I have little confidence in the process. Hopefully sharing some of my experiences will be helpful for others who are making a decision whether to go though this process. I will outline the process I went through, which may or may not be applicable to others.
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WHAT is ACC? What is a mental injurY? PTSD

13/3/2023

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The most frequent question I get when I talk about my experiences with Accident Compensation Corporation (ACC) for my mental injury is 'What is ACC?' ACC has information about their history and what they do on their website. However, I want to provide a persective from someone who has been through the assessment and compensation process for mental injury. This blog post is a combination of my research plus my experiences.

People from overseas get ACC confused with a disability scheme they may have in their country. ACC is a Crown entity scheme in New Zealand to compensate for no-fault accidents and injuries that take place in New Zealand. So it does NOT cover pre-existing disablities or medical conditions that are not directly linked to an event resulting in injury.

My understanding of a Crown entity is that it is set up by the government but operates independently from other government functions. All earners in New Zealand are charged a compulsory levy, similar to a tax.

Mental injuries such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) resulting from sexual abuse or sexual assault may be compensated for under the Accident Compensation Act 2001. 
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I am Name suppressed but not silenced - ACC Case

11/3/2023

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I have been speaking up about my experiences going through the compensation process for mental injury of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) with Accident Compensation Corporation, ACC in New Zealand. Mostly on my vlog, Bipolar Courage.

Two psychiatrists assessed me and had completely different 'Whole Person Impairment' (WPI) percentages. Even if they were to be averaged, I would have still met threshold for compensation. The way things are done, legally, one report has to be chosen over the other. A third psychiatrist reviewed the two reports and chose ACC's one which had a pile of errors in it (so bad that I made a complaint to the Health and Disability Commissioner, who was next to useless, as they told me to deal directly with this psychiatrist).

I represented myself (even though I qualified for legal aid) and went all the way to the District Court. The Judge ruled against me. There are laws that protect the superpower of ACC, who are law experts themselves. I have also cut and pasted the relevant law used by the reviewer for the first hearing and the relevant law used by the judge for the re-hearing, so others doing this process can know what they are up against. A corrupt system, in my opinion. An abuse of power.
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Law for Lump Sum Compensation from ACC

7/3/2023

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Below are copy and paste extracts from a court document from a District Court judge in New Zealand. It's from my lump sum compensation appeal hearing for mental injury (PTSD). It's pretty generic and most of the same parts were used for the relevant law for the independent review hearing stage. The first part is from the Accident Compensation Act 2001 and the rest is from previous cases ('case law').
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In plain English, it means that an impairment assessment can only done by a doctor trained by ACC (using what some doctors say are outdated and biased assessment tools) and it is almost impossible to challenge it, as it's protected legally. My case involved two conflicting impairment assessment reports two psychiatrists, then a third psychiatrist acting as a peer reviewer chose the report that went against me.

I will write a few plain English blog posts about what was involved with my representing myself in an independent review hearing and then to a rehearing at the District Court. Hopefully, this will help others who are navigating this. 

I have reformatted this copy-and-paste extract slightly for clarity.
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Reflecting on past year and moving forward

15/1/2023

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It's already 2 weeks into 2023. I'm not one to make New Year's Resolutions. I'm always a work-in-progress with short-term and longer-term projects to keep me busy. I haven't blogged on here for a while as I have mainly focused on vlogging but I want to move away from that. In this blog post, I will sum up some of the past year and also where I feel I'm headed. I don't make super long goals, as things are pretty unknown for me. I switch from one activity to another, all headed in the same general direction. 
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Softie, the hedgehog represents vulnerability

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    Xanthe Wyse

    I am no longer blogging or vlogging as a mental health and disability advocate. The politics of it is too toxic for me.

    I will blog occasionally about some of my interests (art, writing etc) beyond advocacy on my other blog at Soar Purpose. 

    See you there!

    No. 1 bad-ass.
    After all, my medical records say 'BAD1' for bipolar affective disorder type 1.

    Also diagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

    Clinically significant autism spectrum features since childhood (PDD-NOS).

    Creative. Like to paint and write. Self-published a few books based on personal experiences.
    ​
    Comments are welcome but no personal attacks nor attacks on others.

    Opinions and personal experiences are no substitute for independent professional advice.

    Image is fan art from when I was a bipolar warrior and a renegade fighter.

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