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How Perfectionism affects my mental health

20/5/2019

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I am a recovering perfectionist. A perfectionist is someone who puts unrealistically high standards on themselves with overly critical self-evaluations. Some may project that onto others as well.

I got triggered by my own perfectionism while painting a bird - my second attempt at painting a bird (below). I'd invited constructive feedback by other hobby artists during the process but then I felt my normally low blood pressure rise, I felt angry inside and I felt 'done'. My frustrations came out in scribbling paint over the background and overdoing the highlights as per suggestions. I knew I had to stop. 
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Abundant by Xanthe Wyse

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Reach out with depression

12/4/2019

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My mood has been very low the past three weeks with depression. It seems to coincide with reducing then withdrawing one of my medications for bipolar disorder. One of the worst things about depression for me is the suicidal thoughts. Then not finding pleasure in anything - except chocolate - I self-medicate eating chocolate.
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Rainstones by Xanthe Wyse

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    Picture

    Xanthe Wyse

    Xanthe finds writing and painting to be therapeutic. She has lived with mental illness for over 25 years. ​ She has been diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and social anxiety disorder after originally being diagnosed with 'treatment resistant' depression with general anxiety.

    She started painting abstracts after going back on medication for bipolar disorder after another mania episode. More recently, she has been painting more realistic subjects.

    Xanthe has been told that her insights, writing and art are inspiring. It helps give her a sense of meaning and purpose to have creative expression despite the challenges.

    Comments are welcome but no personal attacks nor attacks on others.

    Xanthe's opinions and personal experiences are no substitute for independent professional advice.

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