It's my blog and I'll write if I want to

[1 June 2023 update: "It's my blog and I'll write if I want to...you would cry/laugh/write too if it happened to you" (my take on 'It's my Party'). Basically, I end up laughing and writing about some of the drama, as it's so ridiculous. This is a minimally edited version.

I have censored my previous first name in this post. It is abusive to keep using it. I have confirmed that even just using my old first name connected to my current legal name is enough to lead straight back to a public record that links to the business that leads to the main harrasser. So every time she doxxes me, she's doxxing herself, including her residential address. I can't be bothered right now to edit this blog post to make it briefer & to fix clumsy grammar, but going foward, I will not mention my former first name. I won't be bothered naming even by first name of any of these others that keep on keeping on with this drama. It's sh!tting in your own nests, naming me with threats, as depending on how good your research skills are, public records I can't remove link to my ex. Unfortunately, changing one's name legally (for survival in my case) does not completely remove them from cling-ons. It's how business laws are set up. Rise above it like the phoenix].

"It's my party" (Lesley Gore) is my earworm so I am listening to it as I write this post. On this old blog that I have been leaving behind to fly away from the drama that never ends. If stay silent, the abuse continues. If say something, the abuse continues. This blog post is dedicated to Chloe and her pals Charlie and Julz (Charlie and Julz used to be my pals, or so I thought). Julz's obsession and public abuse of me has gone on for 8 years.

Recently, I deleted the cesspool of thousands of screenshots from a single incident lasting several days. Abuse from strangers in an orchestrated pile-on that Charlie approved of. I didn't however delete the abuse from Julz (hundreds of public screenshots over years). Unfortunately, I can't do much about her, legally, even though the police said her ongoing harrassment is abuse. Given I have been made the scapegoat repeatedly (accused of being a bully and a liar by those doing the bullying and lying), I have written a few blogs post about the rubbish that goes down.

NUTZ process art with old nuts by Xanthe Wyse

non-stop drama

Chloe aka 'Autistic Truth' is one of the biggest drama queens I have come across in "neurodiversity" #actuallyautistic circles. She admitted to calling the police on me twice for my calling her out after she bullied an autistic woman then the drama was so ridiculous that I wrote a blog post about it.

By the way, I don't even have a Twitter account to see this crapola. It's all public. Some screenshots from these three lovely ladies, who have decided to combine pitchforks with their obsession with me. I screenshot the public smearing from certain people, as I have been lied about, again and again. Let's dip into my library (or rather cesspool) of public screenshots.
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pity & Denial

Let's start with 'Ausome Charlie', who lately has been joining forces with Chloe.

Charlie is giving pity (and therefore validation) for the pity party that goes on and on, after Chloe was called out for bullying an autistic woman. Thanks for reading my blog, Charlie. I read yours too. I'd 'accused' her of doxxing me and someone else. Making identifying sensitive information public that was private, with malicious intent. I'll say malicious intent as was part of Chloe's smear campaign.

Charlie wants to stay out of it (publicly) as she wants to protect her reputation. I know there is gossip in chatrooms though. Good luck with the new self-employment venture, Charlie.

She since deleted it. I censored it because I have never said publicly whom he is and it's just plain nasty to announce this. Don't worry, Charlie, I regret confiding in you. "Troll" is  what people get called if have a difference of opinion. I thought you were a friend but guess you were just a 'frienemy'. Charlie labelling me 'gender-critical' was the first time I'd heard of the term. As for my actual views, they include:

1. I don't care for gender stereotypes
2. Don't indoctrinate and otherwise harm children

I don't know what 'trouble' she thinks I caused (there's been various excuses) but I considered her to be a friend right into 2020 when I was dumped suddenly. The main reason I see it that there was a difference in views, which she has decided to blame on a man she was obsessed with. Jealousy, perhaps? Who knows?

So let's clear up the 'serious spin' about the approving of the cyberbullying that resulted in severe suicidal ideation. More context - she admitted it wasn't so sweet after all but washed her hands of it.

She added she didn't like to see anyone be ganged up on (after she swooped in  to give her approval). There are actually multiple versions now of why we aren't friends anymore. I didn't find out until a public gossip session. Don't worry, Charlie, the secrets you chose to tell me have stayed private. As I'm very doubtful what I said in confidence has stayed private (especially after the public broadcast as part of this crap).

Pity party

So after being called out for calling an autistic woman 'evil scum', going on a smear campaign rampage about me, Chloe is having a pity party. I could see she is a drama queen but I underestimated the extent of the drama. And yes, I have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and I did get triggered when the police turned up.

Police haven't bothered me since, as they know the situation. By the way, I never mentioned the 'misdiagnosis' but Chloe repeatedly does. She has a pattern of pity for profit. Police said there was nothing wrong with my blog posts. The two she takes issue with are here and here.

Chloe's own admissions say survivor's guilt. Also she has said diagnosed with a personality disorder, now saying it's a 'misdiagnosis'. Her narratives are chronic victimhood. Her story keeps changing. Like I said, get some therapy, Chloe.

So here, Chloe is again naming me for multiple people to join in the misery. The 'How to Spot a Fake Autistic' blog post was actually conceived by an autistic woman, Shell Spectrum. I modified and added to it with her permission. It reads like parody but it's actually obvervations of the autistic 'advovacy' online.

I noted the part '...being in your 50's living with your parents because you destroyed all your relationships with everyone around you...' It was pretty obvious whom she had been gossiping with. Yes, I'm 50 and I live with my parents because I am an actually disabled person. I won't rehash my true story here (but Julz defends a home wrecker). 

This is whom I suspected, some public gossip about me from nearly 2 year ago:

"Destroyed every relationship" means I had to cull all mutuals from the 20 year relationship with my ex. Even the people I liked. Guess who one of the main flying monkeys screenshotting my closed page when I was distress and in crisis, leading up to a breakdown and hospitalisation? 

My friends are before my ex and after ex. Two decades of my life with someone, gone. I have never named him publicly but I did say why I have PTSD.

But Julz has a strange obsession with me. One would think I were married to her. Nah, I just made the mistake of employing her and then practically gifting my business to (since run into the ground). Incidently, some nosey clients asked if Julz and I were 'partners'. I'm pretty sure they didn't mean in the business sense either. Nope, we were never lovers but she has the obsession of a jealous ex.

Even more amusing, someone asked if I am Julz in a dissociated state. Hell no. We are separate people. She could pass as an ugly sister, I suppose. We both have similar colouring and build but she has taken on troll features in her appearance. Definitely twinning with my ex-husband on personality trait though. Although he runs straight to lawyers when he doesn't get his way  (which backfired spetacularly). Julz and my ex are not so much peas in a pod but more testicles in a hairy ballsack.

And sure enough, I was right - another account for Julz the 'Swamp Witch', gossiping with Chloe, both projecting (saying what they believe deep down about themselves). I only became aware of this toxic web because of Chloe's smear campaign recently. Um, Chloe, I wouldn't have even written a blog post had you not doing the big smear campaign, lying all the way and still lying. 

'Ruining my life' means I have medical diagnoses and have been affected by them. So what exactly did I do to ruin Julz's life? Was it the dog training I paid out of my pocket for? Was it my practically gifting her a fully set up pet sitting business for way less than its value? Was it defending her when clients wanted her fired? Was it doing free visits for clients to smooth things over after they were mad at Julz?

​No, it was simply her inserting herself into the middle of issues with my ex and the woman who moved into my home when I was in a psychiatric unit (breakdown from all the stress).
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By the way, Chloe, I'm still having therapy for PTSD. For over 4 years. Costing over NZ $15,000 so far. I suggest you put some of the money you get from donations for 'advocacy' into some therapy for yourself.  Julz, you might want to consider some therapy too for your anger issues.
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Chloe, you might also want to know what kind of 'friend' Julz is.  As she can turn on people just like that. Some of her public abuse of me:
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A former 'friend' obsessed with me

Defacing a screenshot from one of my videos. Not sure what kind of message she is trying to send here. Chickens are cool, so I'll go with that.

I was being sarcastic here when Julz trolled me on Facebook (she has more than one account on Facebook and Twitter).

She has no understanding of psychiatry and psychology. Has 'armchair diagnosed' me with incidently what Chloe says she is 'misdiagnosed' with. Now borderline personality disorder (BPD) aka emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD) is a stigmatised diagnosis. So is bipolar disorder (frequently confused for each other by laypeople). There is therapy to help with BPD and some meds to help with bipolar disorder (doesn't take it away though).

Incidently, one of my flaws is that I am honest to a fault (autism spectrum features). Reason I started screenshotting was because the abuse has gone on and on. Then, I am framed as the abuser.  
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No idea how I 'turned on her' as she was the one who turned on me. She saw me distressed in hospital and still turned on me. By the way Julz, 'Bogan' was your 'mate' (my ex's) name for you. If you want to add 'useless' then that's on you.

Just some of Julz's usual anger issues, about me. Pretty bog standard behaviour. If you want to be pals with Julz, Chloe, then don't be surprised if this is what happens to you. Yeah, I can read it. Like I said, don't need even need an account to see this trash. Whatever you say about me is really how you feel about yourself, Julz. By the way, Julz had a conspiracy theory that I legally changed my name to escape the Australian government. Also, Julz, when you have deadnamed me, you are linking me to my ex and my son that you proclaim to care about. And ironically to yourself. Yes, we are all linked on public records. Maybe that's why she's so mad at me?

You've been at it for EIGHT YEARS Julz. Why are you so obsessed with me? So who got screwed over? Sure as hell wasn't my ex and you. He kept everything and you financially benefited too. You are obsessed with a disabled woman on a low income. Obviously you have issues. At least I got some help for mine. The screenshots below are from a few years ago. She's been at it several times since. Once you understand projection, this kind of abuse has less power. No power at all really. As it's really about the person hurling the crap.

Some more gossip from a while back. Yes, I would have tried to press harrassment charges against Julz but unfortunately the laws across Australia and New Zealand currently don't allow it. Police have said try to ignore. Like I said it doesn't matter what you do, it continues.

This has gone on for 8 years. Julz has made it clear that she does it on behalf of my ex and the woman whom 3 marriage breakups were centred on (mine, hers and my ex's boss's). Yet I'm the toxic one? I would be completely out of that mess but Julz insists on continuing her obsession. It's quite funny that she thinks I need to grow up after she did all the name calling. 

one truth amongst the lies and abuse

Julz acknowledged I founded Oz Kiwi (no longer part of it, so don't bother spamming them). She said 'created' (which is true). One true thing amongst the lies and abuse (which I've only shown a fraction of). How generous of you, Julz. Oz Kiwi was acknowledged by official leaders of two countries, successfully advocating for the biggest reform in a generation.

I'd hoped to never mention Julz or Oz Kiwi ever again. I was blocked from the Facebook page I founded (think she's admitting she was involved with that). Thank you for your contributions to Oz Kiwi, Julz. I am glad you and your family got their citzenships. 

It took me years to say why I have PTSD. Julz would come sniffing around whenever I was close to saying what happened (without naming anyone). She even harrassed my family.

Autistic bullies

Just a reminder that this latest drama, going on for weeks, started when Chloe lied about an autistic woman  (Shell Spectrum) who was locked (because she gets bullied so much). Also used the terms 'lowlife, evil, not human, evil scum.'

Charlie was having recent whinge about my making some comments on her videos (she's admitted that were amusing and supportive). I commented (nothing mean or nasty) to see if she still held a grudge. The public backstabbing confirmed she did. I'll never trust her again.

Note that she calls me an 'autist' (a pet name some people call for 'autistic'). I've never called myself an autist and I don't call myself 'autistic' anymore. One of the main reasons I know longer call myself autistic is because of the abuse in these online communities, whether you call yourself autistic or not. Some of the worst abuse I have had online has been from those claiming to be autistic but are mob bulllies. Ironically, one of the main reasons they abused me because I stopped calling myself autistic.

They were so threatened by me, that they left fake malicious reviews on my books. I am half-expecting more fake reviews when I release my second memoir. My need to write is more important than some crapping on my efforts because of their ideology.

Chloe says being autistic online means that end up being targets. Yet she started this mess with her targeting an autistic woman with different views. Also, she keeps going on about needing carers to give her medication, yet she mocked me for being middle aged and living with my elderly parents (because I am not fully independent). So how hypocritical of a disability 'advocate'.

One of the main reasons I are against 'neurodiversity' is because of the non-stop drama. It truly never ends. I have even tried to step away from it, but it continues weeks later. 'Advocacy' is toxic. That's why I don't want anything to do with it anymore. It's a popularity contest of victimhood to make money. Those who dare to speak the truth about it will be mobbed until they are quiet. It has taken courage to speak up about what happens in these 'communities'. 

Again, get therapy Chloe. No need to be ashamed to have mental health struggles. I have them too. I note you frequently mention feeling suicidal. Clearly issues way before me. It's not fair to blame me for your issues.

I identified as autistic for years and still ended up in a psychiatric unit. I've been suicidal many times (but rarely mention it). By the way, this is Julz's attitude to suicide. When I first admitted publicly that I struggled with suicidal ideation, I got a legal letter from my ex's lawyer threatening to prevent me from seeing my son (he's on the autism spectrum, as am I). This is the kind of stigma those with mental illness experience.

I don't care if Julz believes I've self-diagnosed. I have been seen by many psychiatrists and psychologists.  I've actually read out many extracts from my medical records. No one can fake my diagnoses over hundreds of videos and to multiple clinicians. Even professional actors have difficulty acting authentically my diagnoses.

It doesn't offend me because her opinion of me means nothing. Sure, her abuse has triggered me in the past, involving the mental health crisis team. They said she clearly has her own issues. They're right. I won't let her pathetic behaviour have any power over me. 

There's ignorance in this gossip session, as bipolar disorder doesn't have a 'cure' and neither does PTSD for many people. It depends on how severe the injury. I am still left with a mental injury after treatment (which is more ongoing management, everyday). I still have clinicially significant impairments. 

I don't want anyone's pity though. I don't see myself as a victim, like these two do. I am also no-one's scapegoat.

triggering

I'm going to admit this is extremely triggering for me. I am diagnosed with PTSD. I am still in treatment for it. It does not fully go away.

It's very manipulative behaviour, part of Chloe's long rant. She is basically blaming me for her hypothetical suicide. She has a long record of this kind of behaviour. I wrote the blog post because of the smearing and lying and attacks on me, simply for calling out her attacks on someone else. 

This has gone on for weeks. I expected there would be fallout but it's way more extreme.

Regardless, any actions she chooses is not my fault. Her triggers and her long history of mental instability are something she needs to get help with. That's out of my hands.

Likewise, my triggers are my responsibility. This rubbish has impacted me. I am taking my psychologist's advice to step out of the drama and to leave them all to it. I want to move on in my life. If they want to fester, that's on them.

Also, my blog is my blog. I can update it if I choose to. Chloe mocked me for taking so long (an entire month) to transition away from advocacy. Even though difficulty with transitions is an autism spectrum feature. Chloe, you going to take down the dozens of lies all over social media about me? Still going on? To much larger audiences? Getting sympathy all the way? The damage is already done and I have a right to defend myself against these abusive allegations and threats.

Both Charlie and Chloe have spoken about grief. Grief is a huge thing and has been tangled up in my trauma, too. I don't know what Julz's problem is (well, she did tell me once about a 'diagnosis' and past behaviour but I won't say publicly, and it's not my problem anyway). Some people are being diagnosed with this or that, when really it's grief at the root of the issue.

I will screenshot further abuse if I see it. I hope to never write about his stuff ever again. It's a massive waste of time and energy and those desperate for validation will try get it wherever they can.

I'm sure there will be multiple checks to see if I update this blog post. Apparently I am the 'stalker' for seeing what the latest abuse is about me. But all three have admitted to checking in on me regularly. So who's the stalker then? Hypocrites.
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obviously seen this blog post

So anyway, Chloe has obviously seen this blog post, as she's now locked up. Also proving to you that I don't an account to see stuff. She's still gossiping to Julz though, as I can see that. By the way, Chloe, when you are locked, gossiping, your followers can still see not all of them will be your friends. I can assure you that Julz is not your friend. She's just found someone else to spread her hatred of me.

Here's Julz, gossing to Chloe (who is locked), since my publishing this blog post. Julz is lying that I crowd-funded for a laptop. I have never received any funds. I already had a laptop anyway, you know the red one you angrily dumped to the hospital which I wasn't allowed to use. Smashing that laptop up with a sledgehammer was so therapeutic. I saved up on a low income for a new laptop. I saved up for everything I own (not much but it's still mine).

My ex had already moved a married woman into my home during the time I was in hospital. Lying later that it was because he needed someone to take our son to school. It was already planned out. You are all a bunch of manipulative liars.

I have however, seen Chloe fundraise (including for a car). Um no, not everyone has turned against me. Why are you so obsessed with me? Seems to be since Julz became pals with my ex's wife, Meg, who was jealous of me before I was out of the picture. Yet never out of the picture as they still love to gossip about me.

Also, I am diagnosed with PTSD. I have read extracts from my medical records. I am still in treatment for it. Julz repeatedly lies and says I am self-diagnosed. If you're going to be an 'advocate', Chloe, get used the fact that some will be skeptical of your diagnoses. In your case, I actually agree with your clinicians.

I also noticed your changing you story several times. Saying your suicide attempt was from 'misdiagnosed' emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD) aka borderline personality disorder (BPD) then saying your suicide attempt was because you were 'diagnosed autistic' and didn't have support until you came across the #actuallyautistic community (most of whom aren't 'actually' autistic).

So Chloe, if you're upset that people don't believe your diagnoses, you're making a pal who won't believe you either. Her only allying with you currently is her obsession with me.

Julz has told multiple lies about me publicly. I've only included a fraction of what she's said PUBLICLY. And she's even lying here, as she does monitor me, as she's straight onto my case within hours with more garbage. The police said what she does it abuse. It's not just at me. 'Living her best life' is being a fulltime internet troll, hurling abuse at strangers. Your 'public call out for lies' was nothing more than gossip from my ex's wife.

I never named my ex, as his abuse of me was PRIVATE (yet obviously part of the gossips as Julz has become the chief flying monkey to regurgitate the lies). Why are so you invested in someone else's marriage breakup, Julz? My ex said he's moved on. You have made clear that his wife is still OBSESSED with me, as are you. I know why she is. He still wanted me after she was in the picture. Jealousy. And then Julz is gullible enough to believe the lies.

(Look up DARVO - deny, attack, reverse victim and offender). Everything that was done to me, has been reversed and lied as though I did to my ex, Julz and Meg (saying her first name here as I know it's her jealousy driving all this crap). Remember Julz, you will lead all back to your 'mates' everytime you bleat stuff that I said in a LOCKED page, at my most vulnerable. That you distributed to my ex and his new girlfriend, a married woman (while I was still married), whom were both BLOCKED. Plus goodness knows who else. My ex even showed intimate pics of me to his mates. No boundaries whatsoever.

The reason I don't say my former name is to try protect my son. You obviously don't care about my son and neither does this woman who pretended to play mommy. The truth is ugly but the truth is out. I have NEVER named my ex. He's a fool for throwing away our family for a midlife crisis but that's not my problem now. I did love him. I don't now. His spending money to keep trying to impress a high-maintenance woman who wants to be spoilt is not my problem. I have always been proudly low-maintenance and the great thing is that I have NO DEBT. All the house etc was all for show. I am skeptical my son will inherit it.

I can't stand Trump, but Julz has called me so. Although, my trump card is that if you dox me, you dox yourself and my ex. That's how linked was are on official public records.

Obviously read the updates as more gossip with Chloe. Julz is obviously not up with the times, as most neurodiversity advocates preach self-diagnosis is valid. Chloe and Charlie are neurodiversity advocates.

My son (whom I keep anonymous) was diagnosed Aspergers in 2010 by a children's clinic. The clinic didn't formally diagnose adults but said at the time it wasn't an issue to identify as such myself. I've had clinically significant features since childhood.

PTSD was in my medical records during the two month psychiatric unit in 2015. I was severely unwell with full-blown PTSD and bipolar disorder. Anything I said on social media (my closed Facebook page, under my former name) in distress cannot be used against me legally anyway, as I was very unwell.

So Julz screenshot what I said and sent it to my ex, who was blocked. See, venting on social media isn't safe. There was no therapy or counselling in the hospital. It was medicated up to the eyeballs.

I was formally diagnosed with PTSD back in New Zealand. I was also formally assessed for Autism Spectrum Disorder, ASD. The psychologist concluded clinically significant features, but below cut off for ASD (even though I score high in tests). Clinicians went against an ASD diagnosis, to ensure I was approved treatement for PTSD. They knew the system and yes, and autism diagnosis can be used against you.

When I did my online advocacy, even my enemies kept insisting I am autistic. I had stopped calling myself autistic after the assessment. Then a psychiatrist contracted to ACC tried to use my son's diagnosis against me anyway to deny compensation (a pittance in New Zealand).

So, I saved up and I was assessed by another psychiatrist. I'd decided I wasn't going to call myself autistic again no matter what the outcome. He went through decades of medical records and said I definitely have bipolar disorder and PTSD. He asssessed me and diagnosed pervasive developmental disorder - not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS) which is still a current diagnosis in New Zealand. Said that he thinks, despite scoring high on tests that overall, I am just below threshold for an ASD diagnosis and I don't quite fit an Asperger's diagnosis (also still current in New Zealand). Yet, still "definitely on the autism spectrum" with "clinicially significant autism spectrum features". He suggested I call myself 'neurodivergent' and a 'highly sensitive person.' He'd read the report from the assessment pyschologist and said he couldn't believe they downplayed it. Yes, I've had clinicially significant features, since childhood, which included mutism and not going out to play with other children.

It's no point me showing my personal medical records with personal information on them (doxxing myself), as Julz and others will say they are fraudulant. Yet, even Charlie, a former friend, now an enemy, still insists I'm autistic. So do many others who despise me. Ironically, they say I'm autistic and 'misdiagnosed bipolar'. The current neurodiversity narrative is that anyone with a bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder (BPD) disgnosis is misdiagnosed and autistic instead. Well, it's possible to meet criteria for more than one diagnosis.

I've been seen by multiple psychiatrists and psychologists. Julz has no training herself, so what a hypocrite. (I suspect Chloe has screenshot parts of my blog). Save you the hassle, Chloe, just post the link for context. 

Here is Julz, threatening to make public my distress from the time of my psychiatric 2015. I don't even remember what I'd said, as I was dissociating so extremely. I don't even remember an interview in my medical records with a psychiatric register. Yet, I was very consistent with what had happened. My medical records also say I was punched by another patient who was obsessed with me from first sight.  I do recall that incident.

Julz has already deadnamed me previously. I legally changed my name when my former name became a trigger. It took years before I could say my old name. Sometimes, I have said my former first name, since Julz called me a liar when I said that my ex (always unnamed) threatened me with a lawyer to try prevent me from seeing my son.

I don't say my old last name because it links back to my son, whom Julz professes to care about. She does not. The coffee will be a gossip session (no doubt about me) with my ex's second wife, the extremely manipulative woman nearly 20 years younger than him who ditched her husband and schemed to move into my house. I actually got a warning from her ex-friend just before I was dumped. Anyway, I don't love my ex anymore. I was loyal to him for 20 years. During that time, I considered him to be my 'best friend.'

He changed into someone I didn't recognise, in that last year of that marriage. Especially when he met Meg. Different versions of how he met her. Original story from both Meg and my ex was she was shagging my ex's boss. Swingers. Meg and my ex were revelling in making her husband jealous.

By the way, for anyone calling themselves 'polyamorous' and never actually tried it in practice, it's a complete and utter disaster with jealous types. Then a lie from Julz was that I 'bullied and badgered' my ex to do it. That I was never sexually assaulted. You weren't there Julz. Neither was Meg at that stage. You lying gossips.

​I got nothing from the divorce. I will never get married again after how I was treated. It's scary when you trusted someone and then were treated cruelly. Will be extra expensive if (or I'd say when) he divorces again, as I am pretty low maintenance. I don't have much in the way of possessions but I also have ZERO debt.

Why am I bothering to say all this? Because of the numerous public lies from Julz over the years, saying that I was to blame for everything. I have the screenshots but I can't even be bothered uploading them all. 

Also, Julz insists I am not disabled. Not all disabilities require wheelchairs, you ignorant twerp.

Just a lesson though, Chloe, about all of this. 'Friends' can turn against you, just like that.

Julz wants to believe my ex has a nice romance now with the woman who was also shagging his boss (my ex plus this woman told me). It was quite the mess, as my ex was also sexually involved with his boss's wife. I know this because they came to our home. Their marriage breakup happened because of this extremely jealous and manipulative woman who is now married to my ex. She was jealous because my ex still desired me even when he was shagging her. I had a breakdown directly caused by all this mess, which I am blamed on.

This circle are also pals with a woman who straight out told me she is a narcissist. By the way, Chloe, your 'private messages' will be screenshot too, as that's what happened to me, when I was at my most vulnerable. For their own agendas and entertainment.

Anyway, I don't want to dwell on my ex. Hadn't thought of him for ages but Julz insists on rehashing the same old same old. He's out of my life but I am forever linked to him on public records. Yes, we were both 'company directors' in his failed business approximately 20 years ago. I am linked to him forever, at least as my former name.

So if you say my old name Julz, you are naming my ex. And linking to my son. But you don't really care about them, do you? She's also lied publicly about my son. Julz is a liar. Also Julz, by naming my former name, or the name of the business, you also lead back to the drama queen now married to my ex, that 3 marriage breakups around the same time were centred on. The drama queen's ex-friend messaged me just before my marriage breakup (which my ex then lied to my parents was amicable). Said she was jealous  of me and wanted my husband, my house and a ready-made family. That woman will never be my son's mother.

I won't be offended in the least if my son decides to legally change his name to have distance from this toxic crap. He's an adult now and can make his own choices.

Julz also accused me in one of her fits of rage of not trademarking the business she got for just Australian $2000 back in 2015 (when it was making over $30,000 operating part-time). She threatened to sue me (drama queen). So the business got unnecessarily trademarked twice. I'd trademarked the name, which I avoid saying as it's linked to her and my ex (and my son). I didn't bother with the logo as it had the name in it, plus it was copyright anyway, as I had designed it. I'd gifted the logo to her and she was free to change it if she didn't want it.

So when you dox me, Julz, with identifying private stuff for malicious intent, you are actually doxxing yourself. The business records that you and I are both linked to are still public, even after you stopped the business, with your residential address on it. The business records, required by law are online, lasting longer than a typical marriage certificate. Technically, Julz, eventually, I will be 'married' to you than my ex. Is that why you are so mad at me, because we can never be 'divorced' online? Also, by naming me, you also are linking to my ex and his current business and to his family. So, what kind of 'friend' are you? Not very clever, are you?

Julz ran the business into the ground. The business she lied that I paid for the prestigious award I won before hiring her. She even accused me in her lies of  'stealing' my own photos, copyright to me, because I took them. She'd even left a video up that had me in it as her advertising, until I told her to take it down after she hardcore trolled me. I still have those screenshots of all that crap, hun.

All public stuff, unlike the private stuff I'd said in distress, severely affected by the disorders I am actually diagnosed with. That you insist are self-diagnoses. You're not a psychiatrist nor a psychologist, so your opinion of my medical diagnoses mean nothing. I don't threaten suicide like Chloe does, if anyone is skeptical about my diagnoses, as they're not my identity. I have had suicidal ideation many times though, including over all this drama. Which is why my psychologist agrees it's a good thing that I am no longer doing advocacy. I don't want to be involved in the ongoing drama either. I can't be bothered with another 8 years of Julz's crap (she's made it very clear that she does it on behalf of my ex and his second wife, mainly the latter).

One of the reasons I decided to stop advocacy is that it is toxic. The stigma continues, the lies continue, the toxicity continues, the drama is never-ending. I've got better things to do with my time and energy.

Anyway, learn a lesson from my mistakes, Chloe. Be careful with whom you are friends with. As they can turn into your most viscious enemies. Claiming to be happy yet obsessing over someone who owns very little but had the courage to speak out about why they have PTSD.

Julz doesn't care about my ex or my son. If she did, she wouldn't be hellbent on her 8 year crusade on behalf of my ex's second wife (another drama queen). I have a right to defend myself against the lies. I don't care whether her toxic circle believes me. Quite frankly, I can't be bothered to defend myself continually, as it's just a bunch of cowards with a schoolyard bullying mindset obsessed with someone for doing her own thing.

By naming my former name, Julz is also doxxing some of the people with details of what happened, in my first memoir, written at the time, trying to frame the trauma as a sexual awakening. Writers need to write. Whereas gossips like Julz just like go gossip. The #actuallyautistic lot have already been all over that memoir, because they were mad at me for no longer calling myself autistic.

Just a reminder, I have never named who my ex is nor his second wife. Well named Meg for the first time in this blog post because I know it's your gossip with her than drives this obsession. She's just a random nobody to any strangers reading this blog post. I have named Julz though before, posting just a tiny part of her YEARS of PUBLIC abuse, as she denies she does it. Julz isn't very clever, so she thinks her shaming me when I was at my most vulnerable is a win in this pathetic game. It's not, as it goes straight back to those you profess to fight for. I have kept certain screenshots for insurance. I will just show any lawyers and the police the screenshots of who the abusers really are.

Ex's lawyer seemed to dump him like a sack of rocks when I told the lawyer what actually happened in the last year of that marriage. So then, my ex, drama queen he is, sent multiple emails to my psychiatrist in a rage. He admitted he plays games. Gosh, would think I married a woman instead of a man.

Julz is not your friend, Chloe. And neither are many of your followers. They just have agendas. So doesn't matter if you are locked or not. If you insist on desperately feeding your need for validation from the internet, then it will come back to bite you again and again. Well after I no longer mention your name.

​I recommend therapy. I have been in therapy for 4 years, expected to be 5 years total. The therapist (a clinical psychologist in my case) is ethically bound to confidentiality. She noted in my records that I am very consistent across contexts and time. Those who have made 'autistic' their identity are afraid to have therapy, in case they seem 'less autistic'. I had my reassessment after my impairments were deemed by clinicians to be 'permanent and stable'. Yes, I still have clinicially signicant autism spectrum features. No longer call myself 'autistic' though. I also don't call myself 'neurodivergent'. I am even reluctant now to call myself 'disabled' given most of the abuse has been from people calling themselves 'disabled.'

There may have been things I said that I didn't really mean when I was in extreme distress, like I'm sure you have. My family have forgiven me. I avoid social media when I am extremely distressed as in that state, I may have distorted perspective. I don't actually show the worst of my struggles.

It was vulnerable sharing my experiences. My diagnoses are obvious but I am still called a liar. Julz is nothing to me. Just a pathetic bully and mates with a jealous drama queen who will never be me.

The funny side

Warned my mother that this crap has escalated, in case she gets any 'friend' requests. Julz has trolled her in the past.

She said 'do you want for me to talk to her to tell her to pull her head in?' I said it won't make any difference.
She said 'They just want a reaction. Don't choke on their sh!t. I don't want to bubble on their sh!t. It's all verbal diarrhoea.'
We laughed.
Mum said just to ignore them. Of course, I don't do what I'm told. After what I've been through, I will fight back.
​

Rent free in your head

Julz admitted she read my blog after all, including the updates. She's been following me very closely for EIGHT YEARS!!! Get a psychological assessment, Julz. At least I have an excuse.

This is what I did to the award that I won (that Julz lied that I paid $500 for). No, Julz, you must be confused with when I also WON a prize in a writing competition (that was $500 and a flight to Sydney). I destroyed that award too.

I'm sure you already knew that this award went up in smoke. Contaminated by your lies.

Yeah I Google your troll profiles. Like you Google me. You flaming hypocrite.

By the way, 'your' business that I started and you got for stuff all, is still publicly listed, with your residential address. It will be forever, that's what happens when you have a business. You're trying to goad me into saying its name, as that means doxxing me, yourself and my ex. Since you didn't know what doxxing is, again, like I already said, it's making indentifying sensitive material about someone public with malicious intent. Even though, technically the stuff I know about is already public, just depends on how good your research skills are. I've since found out that even linking my first former name (which you and your sidekicks insist on doing) to my current legal name links straight back to you, Julz. Then a simple internet search will link to my ex.

Plus you did troll my Mum when you went on one of your rampages as a flying monkey. I still have HUNDREDS of screenshots of your PUBLIC lies about me. And yes, you were the one who deadnamed me, while trolling me on YouTube. You told me to block you. I did. So then you went on a rampage on Twitter. Then Facebook. You are so dishonest. By the way, I know that some of the clients saw you as untrustworthy and it was never the same after I left. Of course, some complained about you when I employed you but I defended you back then. Should have listened to the clients.

What kind of dishonest scoundrel feeds screenshots from a distressed person on a CLOSED page to their ex (yeah he admitted it). It was you. You do this on behalf on a jealous woman, who got the man and the house but she's still jealous because he still wanted me. Well, not my problem now.

Oh, and 'kinda illegal' is your EIGHT years of harrassment and abuse. It's illegal in both Australia and New Zealand but the laws don't allow between the countries. I know this as the police have seen me about it. They said it's definitely abuse but until the laws cooperate between Australia and New Zealand, there's nothing much that can be done about it. But you knew that anyway, didn't you?

Projecting again, Julz. How about you take your own advice? I use my real name. You are the one with multiple troll accounts with anger management issues hurling insults at random strangers. You deliberately started things to just blame on me. Drama queen abusing for other drama queens (yes my ex is a male drama queen). And yes, you have lied again and again and still lie.

My family love and accept me. My family is none of your business. Get help for your issues as you're the toxic one. My ex has tried to move on. I have tried to move on but whose still at it? What kind of warped individual inserts themselves into someone else's marriage breakup? Can only be someone who is pals with someone who inserted themselves into someone else's marriage. Your coffee pal, Meg.

It's actually me that's got you blocked on every platform. I don't even use Twitter. You can talk to Mr Musk about how things are public without an account if you want to gossip so fewer people see it (still public). You also made some sarcastic comments to me when closing the business. It was a trainwreck for a long time. Not even a website (that's where most new clients came from). YOU financially profitted from it, for years. Do you even have a job yet? You have numerous accounts on social media, trolling as a full time hobby. What for? Pathetic.

building the gang

So now she's enlisted this account to start trolling too. 'Histamine levels' indicates they read (or at least gossiped about) my first memoir. Is also claiming to be autistic but anyone can self-diagnose these days, so take such claims with a grain of salt. I can have a good guess of who it is, another troll account from one of the bullies from the mob bullying event in 2021 that Julz contacted for more smearing last year.

"The actual truth" from this anonymous coward, who is claiming to be autistic. 'Actual truth' means malicious gossip and as I found out with one of the big smear campaigns, everything has been made opposite.

Typical #fraudtistic behaviour, goading to mob bully. You sound awfully like an account with a handle starting with Q that Julz had a gossip session with only last year. You also sound a lot like the frog account. Same way of speaking. How many sock puppet accounts do you have anyway? Doesn't matter. You are a coward.

Also buying into Chloe's endless victimisation, even though she was the one who started this latest round of drama by bullying an autistic woman with different views.

Gosh you lack insight, you anonymous coward and bully. I am not bullying autistics. I called out a bully who was bullying an autistic. And got this drama. Also, I am on the autism spectrum, you fool.

Also, since you are obviously smearing my memoir, you are clearly jealous. As you have not experienced female hypersexuality either yourself or with a partner, so rubbish it. Nor any understanding of female anatomy nor surgical procedures. No 'flaps' are involved with a hysterectomy, you envious misogynistic prick.

I don't care. You are pathetic and you are projecting. You feel crap so bully others hiding behind troll pages. At least I don't hide. I don't ally with bullies either.

Go get a psychological assessment 'Beaner". Pretty sure your bullying and trolling isn't explained by autism. Also, you can speak to the Australian Government all you like. I am not an Australian citizen nor resident. Unlike Julz who got her citizenship because of Oz Kiwi. They can't deport her now that she's an Australian citizen. New Zealand doesn't want her back, anyway.

I have a few screenshots to upload later, because they are beyond ridulous, but I'm getting bored with this pathetic situation.

Oh, by the way, Julz, there was an account with 'nuclear' in the name that I'd blocked on YouTube. Followed me on my other channel. Video clips in it looked a lot like Australia and the man in it also sounded and looked a lot like your husband. You know the husband you publicly said is 'on the autism spectrum' (don't recall him being diagnosed, given you are anti-self-diagnosis) and you impulsively walked out on. Until my (ex)-husband and I suggested you communicate with him. I didn't have that chance, as I had no say as Meg was already scheming to steal my lifestyle and was already shagging my husband, upsetting her husband.

Things turned nasty after the breakup. You've gone and reversed things about what happened behind closed doors. You weren't even there. Neither was Meg. Although she was sitting in the car, ignoring me, when ex smashed the lizard house with a hammer in a rage, after getting a court notice for domestic violence (the legal aid lawyer instructed me to apply for a protection order). See, my ex has rage issues, just like you. I don't care about you and your toxic circle. You're just petty gossips.

By the way, I will be privating and deleting a lot of my advocacy work, as part of archiving it, so get busy if you want to try get any 'evidence' against me, as there is a lot of content. Won't hold up in a court of law anyway if you tried to you any of it. Dumbasses.

I wish to leave a more private life and focus on my creative endeavours. If you want to fester in your obsession with me, then that's on you. Not my problem.
​

Paranoia & pathological lying

Updating the last from this cesspool (as quite frankly I am bored with it and have better things to do with my time and energy than to give these adult-kiddies my attention. I'm not your mommy.
​
Now, Julz has approached someone who says he has a stalker. After repeatly saying I am stalking by seeing her public Twitter (without an account, may I add. Very basic really). Dunno if she is making an accusation here but I never named any of her family, nor uploaded any pics of them. So this is either paranoia, pathological lying or a bit of both. All I am doing is updating this blog post and she is aware of any updates (either read it or one of her troll pals tells her).

My Twitter account has been long gone. Already told you how I can see it. Anyone with an internet browser can see it. Exactly the same way you can see this post. It's no secret. You're not in a 'private' chatroom gossiping on Twitter. Thanks to Chloe, you're not anonymous, either. You deliberately went to one of the biggest ringleader bullies only late last year to spread lies about me. So, thanks, Chloe, your drama actually exposed a big bully after all. That you choose now to ally with.

Just a reminder. I didn't even know this account existed until Chloe searched my name on her smear campaign. Julz, of course lying here, yet again. I really think you would benefit from a pyschological assessment, Julz.

Apparently, I live in an altered version of reality. Yet I use my legal name. Whereas these two ninnies hide behind 'anonymous' accounts to troll and bully. Get some help for your mid-life crisis.

'Spreading around' means I shared a link to this blog post to my social media. Which of course, she was straight onto, despite my blocking her. Who knows how many sock puppet accounts. No wonder you didn't have time for the pets, Julz.

Also, may I remind you, anything I said in a distressed state around the time of my breakdown especially, would be disregarded by any courts as I was unwell. I would have expected you to have learnt a few things about bipolar and PTSD by now, given you monitor my social media so closely. You can believe that I'm self-diagnosed but I am not. I don't care what you believe or think. Just know that if you try take me down by naming the business as part of your smear campaign or my old name, you are doxxing yourself too, including where you live. That's how the internet works. I didn't make the rules. We are forever linked in cyberspace. I'd love to 'divorce' you but I didn't make the regulations. One of the risks of operating a business, I'm afraid.

As, I already explained, Julz, (and you can look up the definition yourself), doxxing is making identifying sensitive information public with malicious intent. As I'm a good researcher, I am letting you know that if you attempt to dox me by spreading my old name and/or the business name linked to me, you are actually doxxing yourself, my ex, your coffee pal etc. And my son. You don't really care about them though do you?

I legally changed my name because of trauma but you said some ridiculous conspiracy theory. It's so ridiculous I wonder how you believed all these lies? And what for? What did I do to you, personally? Nothing. You are pals with a manipulator who is jealous of me over a man who desperately needs validation from women. That's what all this pathetic stuff that is like middle school is like. Petty jealous. I am bored with you. Get help for your obsession with me. It's been 8 years. You're pathetic. I wish I'd never met you. Go away. Pi$$ off. Your sh!t flinging has backfired as I have no hesitation in telling the truth to counter your lies.

As for this nincompoop, using my former name repeatedly, so obviously been involved with the gossip with Julz, I'm shaking in my boots (not). Look at the screenshots in this blog post. Who has been doing the worst name-calling? You. As for your claiming to be autistic and a trans ally, may I remind you, Frog Nuggets, that 

1. Using someone's deadname is disrespectful and abusive 
2. Some trans-identified people have hysterectomies and you have mocked about this
3. I am on the autism spectrum (I choose not to call myself autistic anymore). 
4. Your faux outrage is virtue signalling and you have shown yourself to be ableist, transphobic, sanist and misogynistic. 
5. As for the 'infamy', that sounds pretty badass, so I'll take that as a compliment.
6. As for your pathetic threats (gosh you sound like 'Karla the witch' who made 7 odd accounts), you can go sit on a porcupine. You are nothing more than a pathetic schoolyard bully that hides behind fake accounts (so a coward too).

More pathetic threats from this cockwomble. I am bored with you. Now who is living rent free in whose head? 

Anyway, I will let this kiddies play in the sandpit (or rather sewage). I don't want to play anymore. Waste of my time. Just because you didn't get enough healthy attention as a child, does not mean you need to try get any attention you can from someone else. Anyway, I am done. Waste of my time and energy acknowledging these fools.

I am not even going to edit this post to remove any repetition.

Keep dredging the sewage. I'm out of here. Bye.
​

bully coward

Get mention of my son out of your sewer mouth, you clucking witch. See you've also gone to more of Charlie's gossiping pals. Get a life, you septic tank.