Reflecting on past year and moving forward

It's already 2 weeks into 2023. I'm not one to make New Year's Resolutions. I'm always a work-in-progress with short-term and longer-term projects to keep me busy. I haven't blogged on here for a while as I have mainly focused on vlogging but I want to move away from that. In this blog post, I will sum up some of the past year and also where I feel I'm headed. I don't make super long goals, as things are pretty unknown for me. I switch from one activity to another, all headed in the same general direction. 

Softie, the hedgehog represents vulnerability

As my brain is nearly alway full thinking about something, it's quite hard for me to reflect on this past year, so I will skim through my vlog to remind me. Will link to some key videos.
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some key parts of 2022:

• I turned 50. I treated myself to some hair highlights and a layered hairstyle.
• I moved back in with my parents after a year living in a hostel (I have limited options on a low income with disabilities). I am preparing all my own meals.
• I made a formal complaint against the psychiatric unit I was admitted to in Australia in 2015. They took my complaint seriously.
• I have nearly finished my therapy for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Taking four years so far (when most people take 1 to 1.5 years).
• I had an autism assessment with a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with pervasive developmental disorder, not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS). Psychiatrist said I had clinicially significant autism spectrum features but overall thinks I am below threshold for Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). PDD-NOS is still a current diagnosis in New Zealand.
• After a lot of time and stress, I completed my court submissions for appeal an ACC decision. I am still waiting on a court date.
• I experienced some 'strong' earthquakes (including a local 5.7 magnitude).
• I went on my first solo holiday ever, just a few days away, doing my own thing. The highlight was to visit a gannet colony in Cape Kidnappers, New Zealand.
• I exceeded over 100,000 views on my YouTube channel, Bipolar Courage. I don't actually earn anything but it has been a win-win situation as personal growth for myself and also viewers.
• I painted a dozen or so rocks and left them in a scenic location for others to find. Some of the painted rocks.
• I painted a bird rock for myself, symbolising my journey, flying solo.
• I bought myself a denim jacket. First time worn one since I was a teenager. Wearing a few more options other than my favourite trackpants.
• I taught myself how to style my hair from YouTube videos. Most of the time I don't really bother but I can if I want to.
• I have been continuing to work on my fitness. I still have significant weight gain as a side effect of bipolar disorder medications. I was very brave and showed my tummy doing my workout after a subscriber said that tummies are beautiful.
• I destroyed a self-portrait I didn't like. 
• I entered two sculptures into a community art exhibition with an art from recycled and repurposed materials theme. 
• I am now into 4 years continuous part-time employment as a merchandiser. The longest I have ever sustained employment since my bipolar 1 disorder diagnosis.
• I found some videos from 2017, when I was off medications, before I decompensated badly, so I edited them to key parts and uploaded them to my vlog.
• I needed to free up some computer space, so make some compliation videos before deleting a heap of raw videos. 
• I wrote the dialogue framework and named the titles for my second memoir, Bipolar Courage, which is mainly about an intense online connection with an autistic man during the advocacy journey. I read out some draft extracts here.
• I went for a very long (for me) bushwalk by around a little lake.
• I did a lot of processing since the mob cyberbullying in 2021 (resulting in health set backs). It's affecting me less now.

Highlights & demin jacket for first time since the 80s

What's up for 2023?

• My main goal for 2023 is to complete and self-publish my second memoir, Bipolar Courage. I can only work on book projects a little at a time.
• I have set myself a very challenging goal of a decent handstand at 50. This was my first kicking up attempts after 3 weeks of strengthening exercises (weighing 86kg). Working on improving form with other exercises.
• I will do my best advocating for myself before the judge in court againts ACC. Still waiting on a date. It's me, representing myself, fighting a multi-billion dollar entity who has hired the biggest legal firm in the country.
• I had some setbacks already this year with a big mood crash and shutdown, but I have been focussing on my fitness.
• I haven't felt up to speaking on video lately, so I've been making spontaneous 1 minute videos instead (shorts on YouTube and reels on Instagram - pretty basic - just choosing some music that fits).
• When I went for a walk recently, I saw a young hedgehog for the first time in my life. I wrote about it in my new blog, Soar Purpose.
• I don't think I have much more to say about my mental health advocacy journey on Bipolar Courage. There are hundreds of improvised videos currently up. Mainly sharing handstand progress videos as shorts currently.
• I have started a blogging on my new website, Soar Purpose. Making it up as I go along but I want to focus on a few of my interests, which include my amateur fitness journey and my amateur nature photography and videos. Currently semi-anonymous on my Soar Purpose YouTube channel and website.
• When I complete my memoir, Bipolar Courage, I intend to continue writing Soar Purpose, which is also the name of the sequel to my first semiautobiographical novel, Pet Purpose: Your Unspoken Voice.

A highlight so far for 2023 was seeing a young hedgehog for the first time