Bipolar Courage
  • Home
    • About
    • Contact
  • Art
    • Process Art
    • Art Exhibitions
    • Shop
  • Books
    • Author Bio
  • Blog
    • Vlog

Social Anxiety and Avoidance in the workplace

7/8/2021

0 Comments

 
I originally wrote this blog post in January 2019. Moved post to here as not renewing domain name for other blog. I am diagnosed bipolar 1 disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety disorder.

It's very hard for me to cope with workplaces. Many times over, I have become anxious about someone else to the point of panic and then left (avoidance). I have been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder along with bipolar and PTSD. All these conditions affect my ability to keep a job.
​

On several occasions I have quit after having panic attacks and/or being burnt out. Once I got fired because I 'didn't fit' and another employer said he was glad to get rid of me when I resigned so he paid out my notice so he didn't have to see me again.
So the avoidance - anxiety cycle would continue for me.  Avoidance would temporarily provide relief, but then my anxiety would be worse in the long-run as there was a pattern. My social anxiety is a fear of interacting with people, but also fear of negative evaluation and criticism. I have actually felt suicidal over this.

An employment consultant told me he couldn't help me because I not only job hopped, but career hopped. I would attempt more challenging careers when I was hypomanic but still able to function. Then I would burn out and become extremely anxious. I was unable to function nor work when I was fully manic. I wasn't diagnosed bipolar until my forties so I was on this rollercoaster for years along with the avoidance-anxiety cycle. 

I currently work part-time as a merchandiser with a high degree of autonomy - tasks are set and I just have to go in and do them. It was incredibly hard for me to go up to talk to people. I would mask and smile. Then hide myself away from the world again.  I find people and noise in the workplace especially stressful.

There was initial friction with someone I need to talk to on a weekly basis. My anxiety would get worse and I was unable to take in what they were saying, which then frustrated them more. I would feel overwhelmed internally then shut down so I couldn't take in any information. But gradually things thawed, our working relationship improved and my anxiety eased significantly and no longer dreaded seeing this person. I look forward to seeing them now as they seem friendly and caring.

They talked to me about our getting off to a rough start today. They said they could see that I am 'different' so tried hard to change their approach. I admitted I felt anxious that I could feel they didn't like me. They were frustrated in trying to communicate with me initially but persevered. I appreciated that.
I told them it's hard for me to face people - including the workplace. I usually self-isolate. They told me I was courageous.
​
I had a cry - tears are healing for me. Gave each other a hug. I don't usually like hugs. But I'm getting more used to them. I'm trying not to 'run away' and quit when I feel anxious in the workplace. I still have a long way to go before I have the capacity to work full-time but I'm doing what I can.



0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Picture

    Xanthe Wyse

    Xanthe finds creative expression including writing and painting to be therapeutic and helps her to manage her diagnoses of bipolar disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

    Creative projects give Xanthe a sense of meaning and purpose despite the challenges.

    She has also advocated as a vulnerable person, for vulnerable people for several years.

    Comments are welcome but no personal attacks nor attacks on others.

    Xanthe's opinions and personal experiences are no substitute for independent professional advice.

    Image is fan art.

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    June 2022
    April 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    September 2020
    August 2020
    May 2020
    February 2020
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019

    Categories

    All
    Abuse
    ACC Compensation
    Achievements
    Anxiety
    Art
    Autism
    Avoidance
    Bipolar Disorder
    Bipolar Mania
    Book Reviews
    Books
    Bullying
    Burnt Out
    Cognition
    Communication
    Courage
    Creative
    Depression
    Diagnosis
    Disabilities
    Dissociation
    Domestic Violence
    Emotional Release
    Emotions
    Energy
    Euthanasia
    Fitness
    Friendship
    Grief
    Hope
    Hypomania
    Impairment
    Indie Author
    Inspire
    Loss
    Mixed Mood
    Neurodiversity
    Painting
    Pet Purpose Novel
    PTSD
    Recipes
    Religion
    Self-care
    Sexual Abuse
    Shut Down
    Sleep Hallucinations
    Sleep-paralysis
    Social-anxiety
    Speaking
    Spiritual
    Suicidal
    Support
    Synchronicities
    Therapeutic
    Therapy
    Trauma
    Trolls
    Working
    Writing

    RSS Feed

Copyright 2022 Xanthe Wyse, Bipolar Courage 
  • Home
    • About
    • Contact
  • Art
    • Process Art
    • Art Exhibitions
    • Shop
  • Books
    • Author Bio
  • Blog
    • Vlog